Does this want to make you want to read more?

Honestly, no. It's not that your writing is bad, per say, only bland and uninteresting. I don't really see where the story is going and readers usually like it when you get to the point quickly. You've included a lot of unnecessary information and the beginning does not have a very gripping hook. With some improvement, I think, this would be a much more captivating read. Try to work more on the details and descriptions and use substitutes for some of the tedious words. Overall, I don't really have a feel for the story and I don't feel like there is enough of a picture painted in my mind's eye for me to feel like I'm actually apart of the story. This does have potential. Cheers.